Let me just tell you... It was like holding a tool for the first time. Grasping the red handles took me back to my childhood, grabbing the handlebars of my bicycle while learning to ride. The metallic jaws glistening in the sun, invoking their power. Alas though, I have made the grave mistake of using these ethereal forceps in view of mortals. I uneased the drawer in which they reside for just a moment, to gaze upon their beauty, but it was too late. My coworkers had caught a glimpse of this bilateral aperture and became quite jealous. As they looked back at their own meager tools in disgust, with gnashing of the teeth. I am now without peer, living a life of mostly solitude. I shall reach Mordor by daylight to return this cursed item to Mount Doom, wish me luck.